Welcome to My Playground

Hi everyone and thanks for stopping by! I'm looking forward to sharing with people and gaining some great friends.

In order for you to get to know a bit about me let me explain how I decided on blogging. About a year ago things started changing in my life. I found out that I didn't have as much control over the world as I thought I had. I have always had jokes made about how I needed to be in charge and run with things. I think it's part of the "First Born" syndrome. But as we all know something can and will happen. I made a great living affording a nice home, vacations for my family, new clothes, and the latest electronics. But the world started crashing around me. Instead of saving for emergencies all along I was just having a great time and my family enjoyed a lifesyle that they had become accustomed to. Then my life started crumbling and I wasn't prepared.

My husband for the most part has been a stay at home day for most of our 20 years and it was perfect. I didnt have to take time off to run the kids all over for appointments, school and events, he handled so much at our home and was the greatest support a woman could ever have.

A combination of several things hit me all at once, I started losing my clients, my income began dropping, economics were in a mess, and worst of all my brother find out he was dying. My baby brother was a single dad of a wonderful little girl and the world just stopped for us when they told us we only had 6 to 8 weeks left with him. In a matter of three months he went from a strong man, to using a cane, to a wheelchair to be completely bedridden. My sisters and I would not leave his side, we put everything on hold. He was the only thing that mattered for us. He asked to come home and that's what we did and we cared for his every need until the morning he died with the three of us holding him. I would never change a thing we did to spend that precious time with him. To this day I cannot talk about him without falling to pieces, I miss him very much. I truly hope he knows what an honor it was for him to allow us to provide that care. I also gained so much appreciation of the strength my younger sisters have and their love was at times so overwhelming.

I think with combination of the things that I have told you coupled with the fact that I had been suffering from depression for awhile. I had kept it hidden for the most part, but after losing my brother, my work, and having no income I fell apart. I was the strong one and I didn't know how to deal with it. I'm not going to lie I still deal with it but I know that I'm getting better. Toughest part that I deal with is my kids, they don't understand what happened and I found out keeping them in the dark was not good for them. That is a discussion for another time.

So why this blog, well honestly it's to have people to chat with but also to give hope. One of things that I started doing is trying to find work that I could do from my home. I'm sure many of you are wondering how in the world we have been surviving for the past six months, well I will share that too a little at a time. There were some very dark days, but for the first time I finally am seeing a little light. So you guys are going to see me on this journey :). Changes in life especially for a woman who is in her late 40's and a man who is jack of all trades making a huge lifestyle change. Stay tuned this train is about to take off, stick with me it's going to be a interesting ride.